We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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