Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
