I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
