and i looked up. we had an audience...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
