Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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