About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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