nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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