It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
