all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
