We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Drake has all the answers
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
