So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
