idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
