Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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