So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
