gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
