Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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