All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize