Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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