i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
