She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
