TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Randomize
