The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
