Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
