TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
