called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
