I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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