did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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