So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
