Banned from zoo.
Again?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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