a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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