Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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