i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
