just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I enjoy the company of your penis
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
