Only a mothe r could love this liver
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
