I want to stick my p in your. b.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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