I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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