I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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