Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
