so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize
