Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm like, not good at living.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
