Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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