just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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