is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
