big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
