new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
