People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
