i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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