Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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