wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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