Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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