That's intense
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It's blow job season.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
