just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
