so that wasnt chicken after all
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
