My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize
