It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
