Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
