you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
