I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
