New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
