so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize