Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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