the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize