She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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