I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Is Oprah even human
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
