By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
