at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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