Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
