The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
