so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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