She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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