Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I need to wash the frat house off of me
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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