i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
