OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
