i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
