So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
