He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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