Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
