I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
