fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
